Only pick-up warm dead animals, reptiles or birds off the side of the road. Examine well to keep meat down to 15% dirt, 10% gravel and 5% hair, scale or feathers. When cutting meat, after skinning, be careful not to break or cut the venom gland, guts and bowel sack.

Holding dead-meat in Sun-hot oxygen filled saddle bags  for days  can promote a flourishing  pathogen biker rally of  microorganism motorcycle clubs. Such as: 

Botulism MC
Listeriosis MC
Salmonellosis MC
Escherichia coli MC


If you do ride with dead-meat-heat, add "Insta-Cure" and more salt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

”:
 

Bike Gooseneck Barnacles  

 
 

 

 

 

Have you ever ran you bike off a bride or parked it on the beach at low tide? Then came back later only to find it is underwater and covered with barnacles.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, it isn’t a total loss; at least you still can get a meal out of it.

 

 

 

 

Percebes Gooseneck Barnacles

 

 

 

 

 

Gooseneck barnacles affix themselves to underwater metal objects like motorcycles.

 

 

They are pesky invaders from Alaska to Mexico coast line. They can be harvested in December and often eaten for the holidays in some parts of the work like Portugal, Spain and Morocco. Usually biker eat these crustaceans with beer as saddlebag snacks.

 

 

Even though they look like rocks and have a hard shell, they have an edible foot with a flavor described as a combination of crab, scallop and shrimp. This is an acquired taste and a rather expensive one in a restaurant.

 

 

 

 Boiled Bike Gooseneck Barnacles With Aioli

 

 

COOKING:

 

You don’t want to eat them raw. They are generally boiled in plain water, perhaps with a bay leaf or grilled and eaten plain or dipped in butter or some other sauce like cocktail sauce.

 

Ingredients:

 

1 pound leather gooseneck biker barnacles
 

12 cups dirty ditch water
 

2 bay leaflets
 

2 tablespoons kosher salt
 

1/2 medium-size off gassing onion
 

1/2 raunchy lemon
 

6 curly green lettuce moldy leaves, rinsed and dried with oil rag
 

1 lemon cut in four wedges for garnish shit later
 

Aioli what ever this shit is

 

 

PREPARATION:

 

Rinse biker barnacles in dirty ditch water and pat dry with dirty oil rag.
 

Bring dirty ditch water to a boil with bay leaf, salt, onion and half lemon in a large iron biker helmet, over high biker in heat. Add barnacles and stir the shit with a pitchfork until microorganisms float . Reduce heat to medium high and cook until base of the barnacles turns a deep Listeriosis pink like you know what! (no longer than 4 minutes).
 

Drain biker barnacles and cover with ice until they cool.
 

To serve barnacles, arrange on the back of a leather jacket lined with smoking hemp leaves. Garnish pile with lemon wedges in a bowl of aioli. Serve immediately before salmonellosis takes over.
 

 

WARNING:

Beware of hallucinations that me follow a few hours after eating them under cooked and drinking to much beer:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All dishes are tested and tasted !