Only pick-up warm dead animals, reptiles or birds off the side of the road. Examine well to keep meat down to 15% dirt, 10% gravel and 5% hair, scale or feathers. When cutting meat, after skinning, be careful not to break or cut the venom gland, guts and bowel sack.

Holding dead-meat in Sun-hot oxygen filled saddle bags  for days  can promote a flourishing  pathogen biker rally of  microorganism motorcycle clubs. Such as: 

Botulism MC
Listeriosis MC
Salmonellosis MC
Escherichia coli MC


If you do ride with dead-meat-heat, add "Insta-Cure" and more salt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Bushmeat Ape/Monkey Recipe 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

African Proverb:

 

Wodi soa ensa, fye wo ensa. : You eat monkey for soul and a memory stimulating brain boost. But, when you eat a monkey's hand, look at your own hand. When you enjoy yourself at the expense of others, remember that you are liable to the same misfortune.

 

 

Background:
 

 

 Apes, Baboons or Forest Monkeys 

While riding through tropical Africa, you might come across some smoked Bushmeat along logging communities rural roads, this is a common sight.

 

 

Smoked whole monkeys for sale with tales tied to heads to make carrying handles while riding. They are smoked to preserve it in the saddle bags until cooking. Bushmeat is cheaper than other high-protein foods and fresh Smoked Apes, Baboon and forest monkey meats can be cooked in a banana-leaf, African Amarula liquor and  tomato-onion peanut sauce:

 

 

 

 

Amarula creamy liquor is considered the “fruit of Africa, the magic chocolate milk”. It is an African liquor made from the elephant tree/Amarula tree. You will need two bottles, one for making  a bushmeat roux with and one to get drunk on before you eat the shit.

 

 

 

 

Banana Leaf:

 

 

The basic banana-leaf cooking method has been common across tropical Africa for centuries. Briefly heat the banana leaves over the grill or in a rusty hot iron helmet, (heating the banana leaves makes them more flexible). Remove some of the fibers from the central rib of each leaf, (these will be used to tie the leaf packets closed). Place a wire rack over a large Dutch oven or similar iron helmet pot. Add water to fill the pot up to the bottom of the rack. Place the banana-leaf on the rack and steam each leaf until soft. Add dirty ditch water to the cooking pot as necessary to prevent it from becoming dry.

 

 

Ingredients:

240ml smoke nasty dripping juices

2-1liter bottles of African Amarula liquor

120ml shriveled-up celery leaves

1 clove crying garlic pressed

20ml WD-40 olive oil

15ml red choking Chile powder

15ml. light sorry-ass soy sauce

15ml fresh dirty ginger root, grated

1 large off-gassing onion, chopped finely

4 strips raunchy saddlebag bacon, chopped finely

4 soft bleeding tomatoes, chopped finely

30ml mixed THC herbs

2 rotten egg

Sticky banana leaves (one per serving)

240ml Psycho mushrooms, cleaned

110ml runny peanut butter paste or grinded up peanuts,

55ml ghost flower roux

 

  Cooking Process: 

 

 

 

Soak the smoked zoonoses ape/monkey bushmeat in water for 1 hour then rinse and drain. Dressed out body parts and cut into small serving pieces. Leave bone-in for enhancing visual flavor. Soak the body parts in a rusty iron helmet with one bottle of Amarula for 2 hours, save the nasty juices for later.

Heat oil in iron pot or helmet. Sauté all vegetables until the onions are tender. Add the nasty juices and bring to a boil.

In a separate iron helmet make a roux with flour in some oil.  Slowly add all cooked ingredients and add nasty juices and water gradually until you have a nice, gravy-texture Amarula tomato-onion peanut sauce:

 

 

 

 

 

Slow moist-heat cooking

Place a pieces of bushmeat in the center of each banana leaf a, drizzle with psycho mushrooms and some of the Amarula tomato-onion peanut roux sauce. Fold the leaf in from the sides, drawing all the sides together, being careful not to break the leaf. Tie tightly closed at the top. Cut off any extra leaf above the tie. Repeat until all the leaves have been filled. Use any extra leaf to double wrap the packets. The leaves will stand an amazing lot of heat in the way of fire.

 

 

 

 

Fire:

Reduce the wood fire to embers, place banana leaf packets on the glowing embers, to cook taking care there is no flame. Cook on each side, flipping bananna leaf packets every 15 minutres. In 2 ½ -3 hours the bushmeat is done in a superb Amarula tomato-onion peanut roux sauce gravy.

 

Serve with dirty Ugali, Rice, or stale bread

 

Now use the last bottle of Amarula to get drunk on before eating the ape/monkey bushmeat, You will need it, considering the physiological similarities between ape/monkeys body parts and your fellow drunk psycho bikers body parts.

 

 

 

 

 

Caution Africa Biker Road Hazards:

 

 

Little is known about the parasitic diseases carried by smoked ape/monkey bushmeat. Epidemiologist think the consumption of bushmeat could endanger one’s health because the level of hygiene which occurs during killing, butchery and smoking the meat  is obviously the main route of infections to consider before loading up your saddle bags with the “transmission of zoonoses.”

 

 

 

One man's bushmeat is another man's calamity 
 

 

Bushmeat which is considered by most West-Africans as a favorite delicacy and to African immigrants, a chunk of bushmeat with it’s aroma is enough to remind one of his or her mom’s Tweapease village home cooking. However, bushmeat has now become a contraband item because the primates have raised the most public alarm. It is also seen by the wildlife conservatives as a threat to declining animal species.

 

 

 

Monkey hypocrisy?

 

 

Is restricting trade in bushmeat, which  is cheaper than other high-protein foods among Africa’s poor, fair? While Westerners wallowing in protein-drenched fast food cookery amount to hypocrisy?

It’s a matter of Africa’s poor eating bushmeat because they truly dependent on wildlife for a significant percentage of protein. It’s a matter of bushmeat being all that’s available and locals have proprietary rights over it.  Although legally harvested is the law, laws are just paper against desperate poor people colluding with corrupt officials. It’s not about Western laws.

Of course, the bottom line is to address the problem now, when there is wildlife left, instead of addressing it in 10 to 15 years when the wildlife is gone and Wall-Mart is selling bushmeat  by the pound.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All dishes are tested and tasted !